Hey friends,

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space. 

This is Caesura, a newsletter that tries to be funny. We are at issue number five — thanks for still being here with me.

This week I am celebrating my birthday. One of functions that birthdays always serve me is sort of a check point. Time when I stop for a bit, find private space and reflect on where I am in my life.

It used to be a very scary activity — the gap between my expectations and the reality was too harsh. No, rather I was harsh on myself — for not achieving, not reaching and not working hard enough. I still am, but now I just let it be — just another thought that comes and go. And I stay. 

Being kind to yourself and being real helped — and still helps. Birthday is a check point, not your performance evaluation where you measure yourself against unrealistic KPIs. Rather, it is a time to change, re-adjust and update your goals and visions for the future. Ideally, we should do it more often, so that our expectations are not so out of touch with current reality — but we forget. Birthday is a good reminder.

I looked at goals for 2022 that I created in December 2021 and laughed and cried. Few of them survived the test of the reality. Funny thing is how different life was in December 2021 — we thought COVID is probably the single gigantic event of our lifetime. Sike.

Being harsh on yourself does not really help. I noticed that when I am too self-critical I stop dreaming. The thinking is: what is the purpose of having these visions about magical life, if they are so unrealistic and I mentally punish myself for not getting closer to them. Dreaming, in a way, became a fear — I will not dream, so that I will not disappoint myself and will not hate myself.

Rather, we should dream and dream as often as possible. Dreams are not your goals, rather visions that we have for our life. In turn, vision is a guiding force in our everyday hustle. We can make decision-making less mentally taxing and frustrating, if every time we need to make an important decision, we ask ourselves, “does this make closer to my dreams, or not?” If yes, go for it. If no, may be think twice.

Dreams are not realistic expectations, they are ideals — something we will spend lifetime striving toward, but not necessarily reaching them. And in that sense, dreams and ideals are important — they form a foundational core of values and principles that guide us forward.

More importantly though, if we move away from a functionalist view, dreams should be our private safe space. Place where we can stop time and hide from whatever emotions and thoughts we are experiencing. Where we take a pause, and let ourselves freely imagine everything we want — and by doing so, fill up ourselves with hope. However unrealistic those imaginations can be.

⭐️ My Favorite Things

🍿 Movie : See How They Run, is a visually satisfying (symmetry and stuff), easy-going crime comedy with good acting. You won’t be seeing it the second time, but for one-time experience it is a good looking, engaging and funny.

📺 Netflix show : Cyberpunk Edgerunners, just an engaging game-based anime that I am liking recently. Rick and Morty’s latest season is good as well. Previously, I was binging on Seinfeld — one of my favorite shows of all time, after Scrubs, House MD and Friends. Aziz Ansari’s Master of None is fine wine like — and I do not drink wines.

✍️ Article : How to Teach Someone a Board Game by James Austin. Me & my closest friends play boardgames every chance we get. Pretty complex ones. One of the ungrateful activities of boardgaming is teaching other rules for a new game. This article helps making it easier (and less frustrating).

Let me know if you want to receive board game recommendations from me.

🌺 Music : A Charlie Brown Christmas by Vince Guaraldi Trio. Although technically this is a Christmas-themed album, it sounds very autumn-ish. “Christmas Time is Here” is especially good on early mornings during Budapest’s beatiful autumn.

See ya,

Adil